Self-Defeating Behavior #1: Speaking negatively about your looks, or your body
We all have things we like about ourselves, and things we don’t. Make a habit of only discussing the features you appreciate, or at least avoid picking apart your “flaws.”
You wouldn’t point out the “problem” areas in someone you truly loved, so love yourself enough to keep your mouth shut about your own. Avoid this self-defeating behavior as it leads to poor self-esteem and insecurity.
Self-Defeating Behavior #2: Using the words “I can’t”
There’s no reason to make your struggles bigger than they are. Be proud of what you can do, and eliminate the word “can’t” from your vocabulary. Even if you have no idea how you are going to do something, you do not need to express this concern in such a fatalistic way. Anything is possible.
Self-Defeating Behavior #3: People pleasing
You are the gatekeeper of your life. If your intuition is telling you not to do something, protect your interests and say no! It’s not your job to fulfill the wishes of everyone around you. Besides that, there’s no amount of tap dancing that you can ever do to make another person happy, because happiness is an inside job. Please yourself, and let others do the same.
Self-Defeating Behavior #4: Saying “no” when you want to say “yes”
Don’t let a little fear talk you out of pursuing something that excites you! Don’t let any limiting beliefs get in the way of going after something that you really want.
Self-Defeating Behavior #5: Not getting enough sleep
Sleep deprivation is wildly common in our society and it is so detrimental to our well being. Sleep is a time of recovery and a time of connection with your higher self. It also helps to raise your vibration and keep you in balance. Your sleep should be just as important as the productivity you achieve during the day, if not more.
This self-defeating behavior will not only exhaust you, but it will create more stress and illness in your life.
Self-Defeating Behavior #6: Staying in toxic relationships
Toxic relationships weigh you down and suck the life right out of you. If you aren’t ready to let go of one, at least distance yourself enough to be able to breathe. If you are not sure if you are in a toxic relationship, check out this article on toxic behaviors to avoid.
Self-Defeating Behavior #7: Working too hard
Working too hard sucks the joy right out of life. It also causes stress, which primes you for injury, disease and mental health issues. Strike a comfortable balance between work, rest and leisure to enhance the quality of your life.
Self-Defeating Behavior #8: Pushing through the pain
When your body is injured or sore, it’s a sign from the universe that you are pushing yourself too hard.
Remember, no one’s keeping track of how many you miles you run or how many yoga poses you can do. If your body hurts, rest and relax. Give yourself time to heal. Pushing through the pain only worsens your injuries, which will set you back even more in the future. Honor your body and listen to what it is telling you.
Self-Defeating Behavior #9: Trying to fit in
You are a unique individual with a specific set of talents and skills that no one else has, and that’s the beauty of who you are. Don’t cover up your individuality to look, sound and act like everyone else. Be yourself. It’s the only way you’ll ever be powerful.
A fulfilling life is created with love and compassion. Routinely abusing oneself with unkind thoughts, beliefs and actions lowers one’s vibration and quality of life. However, by opting not to engage in self-defeating behaviors, we can choose to love and empower ourselves instead.
You deserve to have life that is happy, healthy and prosperous, but these things are ultimately up to you. Choose to be kind to yourself to have a better life.
Related CE Courses on Self Defeating Behaviors
Professional Development Resources is approved to offer online continuing education (CE/CEU) courses by the American Psychological Association (APA); the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC); the Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB); the American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA); the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA); the Commission on Dietetic Registration (CDR); the Alabama State Board of Occupational Therapy; the Florida Boards of Social Work, Mental Health Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy, Psychology & School Psychology, Dietetics & Nutrition, Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology, and Occupational Therapy Practice; the Ohio Counselor, Social Worker & MFT Board and Board of Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology; the South Carolina Board of Professional Counselors & MFTs; and by the Texas Board of Examiners of Marriage & Family Therapists and State Board of Social Worker Examiners.